Imagine you move to a new city and buy a nice house in a nice neighborhood. Soon after you move in, you meet your new neighbors, the Jones’s, (anybody named Jones here? If so, I’m not talking about you, just the generic “Jones”) The Jones’s throw a “welcome to the neighborhood party for you, but at the party, everyone was admiring Jonesy’s brand new SUV. You don’t feel good about that and soon after the party, you buy an even better brand new SUV. You invite the neighbors over, and they all admire your SUV and now you feel better! Everything is going well, until Jonesey decides to buy a new deck for his yard. He then throws a party for the neighborhood on his new deck, and suddenly, you don’t feel good any more. Of course, now, you also have to buy a new deck, not to be outdone by your “friend” Jonesey. A year later, you are bankrupt, and Jonesey moves to a more affluent neighborhood and you never see him again. This, of course is “Keeping up with the Joneses”.
This is called “socializing”. Why? Because underlying the social pleasantries, lies a whole lota “social contracting”. What is the “Social Contract”? There are many meanings, but I am referring to a book I read in high school by Robert Audrey called the “Social Contract”.
The book extended Ardrey’s refutation of the prevailing conviction within social sciences that all social behavior is purely learned and not governed by innate patterns. Through interwoven analyses of animals and human social structures Ardrey argued that inherited evolutionary traits are an important determining factor in social behavior.
In other words, we act like chickens. Chicken socializing is characterized by something called a “pecking order”. The pecking order goes like this: the top, or alpha chicken pecks all the beta chickens who then peck the lowly runt chickens who sometimes don’t survive the ordeal.
So why then are we acting like chickens who have brains the size of sunflower seeds? The reason is, we have flesh, and our flesh desires to be great! As Christians we need to deal with this and not let it run our lives. Jesus was tempted by Satan in this with what is called the “pride of life” where Jesus was taken to the pinnacle of the temple and told to “throw yourself down”. From Luke 4:9
9And he brought Him into Jerusalem and had Him stand on the pinnacle of the temple, and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down from here; 10for it is written:
‘HE WILL GIVE HIS ANGELS ORDERS CONCERNING YOU, TO PROTECT YOU,’ 11and,
‘ON THEIR HANDS THEY WILL LIFT YOU UP,
SO THAT YOU DO NOT STRIKE YOUR FOOT AGAINST A STONE.’” 12And Jesus answered and said to him, “It has been stated, ‘YOU SHALL NOT PUT THE LORD YOUR GOD TO THE TEST.’”
How cool would it have been if Jesus had jumped off, and floated down to the ground, surrounded by Angels! But, Jesus rejects the social contract. From Mark 10:42
42Calling them to Himself, Jesus *said to them, “You know that those who are recognized as rulers of the Gentiles domineer over them; and their [t]people in high position exercise authority over them. 43But it is not this way among you; rather, whoever wants to become [u]prominent among you shall be your servant; 44and whoever wants to be first among you shall be slave of all. 45For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His [v]life as a ransom for many.”
So what does the word “Social” mean? From Wikipedia
Social organisms, including human(s), live collectively in interacting populations. This interaction is considered social whether they are aware of it or not, and whether the exchange is voluntary or not.
The Wikipedia includes a quote from none other than Karl Marx to further explain the concept of “Social”
Human beings are intrinsically, necessarily and by definition social beings who, beyond being “gregarious creatures”, cannot survive and meet their needs other than through social co-operation and association. Their social characteristics are therefore to a large extent an objectively given fact, stamped on them from birth and affirmed by socialization processes; and, according to Marx, in producing and reproducing their material life, people must necessarily enter into relations of production which are “independent of their will”.
The news media in America likes to use the word “social” a lot. For example:
Social event
Socialism
Social Justice
Socialization
Social Climbing
We need to remember, that the world belongs to Satan and these terms may sound like good things, but like everything owned by Satan, ultimately they will be used against us. From Luke 4:5
5And he led Him up and showed Him all the kingdoms of [b]the world in a moment of time. 6And the devil said to Him, “I will give You all this domain and [c]its glory, for it has been handed over to me, and I give it to whomever I want. 7Therefore if You [d]worship before me, it shall all be Yours.” 8Jesus replied to him, “It is written: ‘YOU SHALL WORSHIP THE LORD YOUR GOD AND SERVE HIM ONLY.’”
We on the other hand are supposed to “fellowship” with one another. From Acts 2:42
42They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to [as]prayer.
So, what is fellowship anyway? As some of you know, I really enjoyed JRR Tolkien’s trilogy, “The Lord of the Rings”. The first book is called “The fellowship of the Ring”. A brief synopsis of this book is that a dangerous and powerful ring has been found and needs to be destroyed. So, the good leaders created a “fellowship” of hobbits, dwarves, elves and men to destroy the ring. They needed such a fellowship because powerful and evil forces are searching for the ring and they need a group of individuals with specific talents to perform the quest.
These men weren’t concerned with the social contract, determining who was the greatest. Instead, they used their talents and abilities to perform the quest. They weren’t socializing, they were fellowshiping.
Again, Jesus explains it best, from Mark 9:33
33They came to Capernaum; and when He was in the house, He began to question them: “What were you discussing on the way?” 34But they kept silent, for on the way they had discussed with one another which of them was the greatest. 35And sitting down, He called the twelve and *said to them, “If anyone wants to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all.” 36And He took a child and placed him among them, and taking him in His arms, He said to them, 37“Whoever [s]receives [t]one child like this in My name [u]receives Me; and whoever [v]receives Me does not [w]receive Me, but Him who sent Me.”
Our “Quest” is to preach the gospel, praise God, encourage each other, and make disciples. It is NOT to determine who is the greatest, which is the point of socializing sometimes.
So, what gets in the way of fellowship? I have a list!
Number one: Not going to church. Violating this simple habit causes the most backslides in Christianity. I have been involved with the church for 44 years, and I see this frequently, people start coming, come for a while and then gradually stop coming. What happens to these people is a subject I don’t want to get into, but it is the worst thing we can do to ourselves as Christians. From Hebrews 10:23
23Let’s hold firmly to the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; 24and let’s consider how to [i]encourage one another in love and good deeds, 25not abandoning our own meeting together, as is the habit of some people, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.
You cannot fellowship with believers if you don’t regularly go to church. You will not get the teaching you need to be a disciple, you will not get the encouragement your need to stay in the faith, and lets face facts, you won’t be actually spreading the gospel either. While some are unable to go to church for various reasons, 99.99% of you have no excuse, and the people that cannot, really want to and wish they could.
Second: Not engaging into the quest AKA not using your talents and abilities to glorify God. There is a rule that seems to be true across the board that 20% of the people do 80% of the work. This is the sad reality of any kind of organization, and the church is no exception! But, we ALL have talents and abilities we can use to serve God. We all have a ministry in the “body of Christ”, according to 1 Corinthians 12:4
4Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit. 5And there are varieties of ministries, and the same Lord. 6There are varieties of effects, but the same God who works all things in all persons. 7But to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.
Lets face facts, we NEED your ministry in our church! There is joy in ministry because we are honoring the God that so loved us he gave his Son to be the sacrifice for our sins.
Third: Socializing with unbelievers. I won’t deny that socializing can be fun, but believe me, this is a dangerous thing to do. Remember, we are to be in the world, but not of the world. (John 17). We must understand that the influence of worldly and Godless people will likely win you over if you hang around them too much. Jordan Peterson, the famous psychologist, also warns his readers in his book “12 rules for life” of the dangers of associating with the wrong kind of people.
Read page 82 from 12 rules for life.
Some socializing with friends and family may be necessary, but we need to go into these situations with our eyes open and respectful of their ability to influence us. We can tell ourselves that we are there to evangelize, but if we are honest, we must admit that we mostly don’t actually do it. The fear of man creeps in and shuts our mouths 99% of the time. Don’t underestimate the power of peer pressure. The other side of this, is to isolate ourselves like the Amish do, but this completely removes any influence we might have. Remember, we are IN the world but not OF the world as it says in John17.
Fourth: Seeing Christians as inferior to impressive worldly people. Lets face facts, most of us aren’t all that impressive. Especially yours truly! If you are foolishly looking to social climb, the church is usually the worst place to do it. We need to remember that social climbing is for chickens and not human beings. AND, nobody ever really changed their social position by social climbing. From 1 Corinthians 1:26
26For consider your calling, brothers and sisters, that there were not many wise according to [ab]the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; 27but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, 28and the [ac]insignificant things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, 29so that no human may boast before God.
Fifth: Not studying the Bible. Reading and studying the Bible matures us. I have been studying it for 44 years and have yet to be bored. When you have a good understanding of the Bible, tricky arguments from Satan don’t work on you and you won’t fall prey the arguments of people of higher intelligence than you. Also, you will be able to quickly refute their arguments when they are presented in public. You would be surprised how stupid their arguments really are. From 2 Timothy 2:15
15Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a worker who [g]does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.
Sixth: Not engaging in hospitality. Hospitality means spending time with Christians outside of church functions. From 1 Peter 4:8
8Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. 9Be hospitable to one another without complaint.
Hospitality is much more enjoyable when we can enjoy someone’s good fortune and not be jealous of the homes and fun stuff people have. Conversely, we should not be ashamed of our own lack of impressive homes and stuff. Remember, there is always somebody with more stuff than you. We should not be concerned with such worldly things. Also, some of us cannot be as hospitable as others due to circumstances like unbelieving spouses, tiny apartments, and (ahem) living with relatives.(like poor Daniel) It is also beneficial if we substitute our desire for socializing with fellowshiping with believers instead of risking the influence of worldly people. Remember, we all have DIFFERENT gifts and abilities, and we should not feel inferior to those with more visible ministries. From 1 Corinthians 12:14
14For the body is not one part, but many. 15If the foot says, “Because I am not a hand, I am not a part of the body,” it is not for this reason [n]any less a part of the body. 16And if the ear says, “Because I am not an eye, I am not a part of the body,” it is not for this reason [o]any less a part of the body. 17If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? 18But now God has arranged the parts, each one of them in the body, just as He desired. 19If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20But now there are many parts, but one body. 21And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you”; or again, the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” 22On the contrary, [p]it is much truer that the parts of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary; 23and those parts of the body which we [q]consider less honorable, [r]on these we bestow greater honor, and our less presentable parts become much more presentable, 24whereas our more presentable parts have no need of it. But God has so composed the body, giving more abundant honor to that part which lacked, 25so that there may be no [s]division in the body, but that the parts may have the same care for one another. 26And if one part of the body suffers, all the parts suffer with it; if a part is [t]honored, all the parts rejoice with it.
Seventh: Not getting involved in leadership. I have been in leadership perhaps 30 of the 44 years I’ve been a Christian. We are ALWAYS looking for leaders, and we get turned down by people frequently I think because people don’t want to donate the time and don’t want to get into messy interpersonal issues. Also, some of the jobs, like mine, can get complex and frustrating. We NEED to remember that we do these leadership jobs for God, not the approval of the congregation. From being a church leader for many years, I can tell you that we are not always appreciated. People backbite you, criticize you ignorantly and take advantage of you. I wish things were different, but it is why Jesus told the disciples that you need to be the servant of all. From Mark 10:43
43But it is not this way among you; rather, whoever wants to become [u]prominent among you shall be your servant;
Having good leadership is necessary to set the correct example to the rest of the congregation. Good fellowship requires leaders and people to model Christlike behavior.
We leaders need to model God’s self sacrificing love for everyone. And, our motivation needs to be to serve God and the congregation. Believe me, God is worthy of serving! And because he cares about the congregation, we leaders should care too. We should never “lord” it over the congregation in the manor of feeling superior, like some kind of stupid aristocrat. I must admit, I personally really don’t have much temptation to feel superior, since it is quite obvious I am NOT.
So what am I saying then? We should fellowship instead of socialize, not hang out with worldly people any more than necessary, practice hospitality, read our bibles, accept leadership positions when called to do so, don’t social climb (doesn’t really work anyway), practice ministry, and most importantly GO TO CHURCH EVER SUNDAY, You really cannot fellowship with a video of some famous preacher just in case your are tempted to do so instead of going to church.
